#pure bribery

[sataniccapitalist]

The plaintiff in Snyder v United States is claiming that when a public official accepts a “gift” from a person or corporation who has benefited from that public official’s actions, that should not be legally considered a bribe

[forestshadow-wolf]

He don't think he can be loved so he settles fir giving love because, well- love is love, right? It doesn't matter who's giving or taking because it's still love...

I mean he can be loved, his family loves him, but they didn't always like him. So really, he supposed that he had to choos between being loved and being liked.

And at least with Ghost he gets to choose, and he chooses to be liked. Because love would force him to stay, he wants Ghost to want to be near him. So he'll settle for being liked and not loved.

He's okay with it. He's long accepted it. And he'd let ghost live him a thousand times over, fo a million years if he could. And if ghost never truely fell in love with that, he's could live with that, he already is living with that.

Simon "I love you" Riley

John "no you love what I can do for you, but that's okay, I'm fine with providing what you need" Mactavish

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Expert agencies and elected legislatures

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/21/policy-based-evidence/#decisions-decisions

Since Trump hijacked the Supreme Court, his backers have achieved many of their policy priorities: legalizing bribery, formalizing forced birth, and – with the Loper Bright case, neutering the expert agencies that regulate business:

https://jacobin.com/2024/07/scotus-decisions-chevron-immunity-loper

What the Supreme Court began, Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy are now poised to finish, through the "Department of Government Efficiency," a fake agency whose acronym ("DOGE") continues Musk's long-running cryptocurrency memecoin pump-and-dump. The new department is absurd – imagine a department devoted to "efficiency" with two co-equal leaders who are both famously incapable of getting along with anyone – but that doesn't make it any less dangerous.

Expert agencies are often all that stands between us and extreme misadventure, even death. The modern world is full of modern questions, the kinds of questions that require a high degree of expert knowledge to answer, but also the kinds of questions whose answers you'd better get right.

You're not stupid, nor are you foolish. You could go and learn everything you need to know to evaluate the firmware on your antilock brakes and decide whether to trust them. You could figure out how to assess the Common Core curriculum for pedagogical soundness. You could learn the material science needed to evaluate the soundness of the joists that hold the roof up over your head. You could acquire the biology and chemistry chops to decide whether you want to trust produce that's been treated with Monsanto's Roundup pesticides. You could do the same for cell biology, virology, and epidemiology and decide whether to wear a mask and/or get an MRNA vaccine and/or buy a HEPA filter.

You could do any of these. You might even be able to do two or three of them. But you can't do all of them, and that list is just a small slice of all the highly technical questions that stand between you and misery or an early grave. Practically speaking, you aren't going to develop your own robust meatpacking hygiene standards, nor your own water treatment program, nor your own Boeing 737 MAX inspection protocol.

Markets don't solve this either. If they did, we wouldn't have to worry about chunks of Boeing jets falling on our heads. The reason we have agencies like the FDA (and enabling legislation like the Pure Food and Drug Act) is that markets failed to keep people from being murdered by profit-seeking snake-oil salesmen and radium suppository peddlers.

These vital questions need to be answered by experts, but that's easier said than done. After all, experts disagree about this stuff. Shortcuts for evaluating these disagreements ("distrust any expert whose employer has a stake in a technical question") are crude and often lead you astray. If you dismiss any expert employed by a firm that wants to bring a new product to market, you will lose out on the expertise of people who are so legitimately excited about the potential improvements of an idea that they quit their jobs and go to work for whomever has the best chance of realizing a product based on it. Sure, that doctor who works for a company with a new cancer cure might just be shilling for a big bonus – but maybe they joined the company because they have an informed, truthful belief that the new drug might really cure cancer.

What's more, the scientific method itself speaks against the idea of there being one, permanent answer to any big question. The method is designed as a process of continual refinement, where new evidence is continuously brought forward and evaluated, and where cherished ideas that are invalidated by new evidence are discarded and replaced with new ideas.

So how are we to survive and thrive in a world of questions we ourselves can't answer, that experts disagree about, and whose answers are only ever provisional?

The scientific method has an answer for this, too: refereed, adversarial peer review. The editors of major journals act as umpires in disputes among experts, exercising their editorial discernment to decide which questions are sufficiently in flux as to warrant taking up, then asking parties who disagree with a novel idea to do their damndest to punch holes in it. This process is by no means perfect, but, like democracy, it's the worst form of knowledge creation except for all others which have been tried.

Expert regulators bring this method to governance. They seek comment on technical matters of public concern, propose regulations based on them, invite all parties to comment on these regulations, weigh the evidence, and then pass a rule. This doesn't always get it right, but when it does work, your medicine doesn't poison you, the bridge doesn't collapse as you drive over it, and your airplane doesn't fall out of the sky.

Expert regulators work with legislators to provide an empirical basis for turning political choices into empirically grounded policies. Think of all the times you've heard about how the gerontocracy that dominates the House and the Senate is incapable of making good internet policy because "they're out of touch and don't understand technology." Even if this is true (and sometimes it is, as when Sen Ted Stevens ranted about the internet being "a series of tubes," not "a dump truck"), that doesn't mean that Congress can't make good internet policy.

After all, most Americans can safely drink their tap water, a novelty in human civilization, whose history amounts to short periods of thriving shattered at regular intervals by water-borne plagues. The fact that most of us can safely drink our water, but people who live in Flint (or remote indigenous reservations, or Louisiana's Cancer Alley) can't tells you that these neighbors of ours are being deliberately poisoned, as we know precisely how not to poison them.

How did we (most of us) get to the point where we can drink the water without shitting our guts out? It wasn't because we elected a bunch of water scientists! I don't know the precise number of microbiologists and water experts who've been elected to either house, but it's very small, and their contribution to good sanitation policy is negligible.

We got there by delegating these decisions to expert agencies. Congress formulates a political policy ("make the water safe") and the expert agency turns that policy into a technical program of regulation and enforcement, and your children live to drink another glass of water tomorrow.

Musk and Ramaswamy have set out to destroy this process. In their Wall Street Journal editorial, they explain that expert regulation is "undemocratic" because experts aren't elected:

https://www.wsj.com/opinion/musk-and-ramaswamy-the-doge-plan-to-reform-government-supreme-court-guidance-end-executive-power-grab-fa51c020

They've vowed to remove "thousands" of regulations, and to fire swathes of federal employees who are in charge of enforcing whatever remains:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/11/20/24301975/elon-musk-vivek-ramaswamy-doge-plan

And all this is meant to take place on an accelerated timeline, between now and July 4, 2026 – a timeline that precludes any meaningful assessment of the likely consequences of abolishing the regulations they'll get rid of.

"Chesterton's Fence" – a thought experiment from the novelist GK Chesterton – is instructive here:

There exists in such a case a certain institution or law; let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, "I don't see the use of this; let us clear it away." To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: "If you don't see the use of it, I certainly won't let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it.

A regulation that works might well produce no visible sign that it's working. If your water purification system works, everything is fine. It's only when you get rid of the sanitation system that you discover why it was there in the first place, a realization that might well arrive as you expire in a slick of watery stool with a rectum so prolapsed the survivors can use it as a handle when they drag your corpse to the mass burial pits.

When Musk and Ramaswamy decry the influence of "unelected bureaucrats" on your life as "undemocratic," they sound reasonable. If unelected bureaucrats were permitted to set policy without democratic instruction or oversight, that would be autocracy.

Indeed, it would resemble life on the Tesla factory floor: that most autocratic of institutions, where you are at the mercy of the unelected and unqualified CEO of Tesla, who holds the purely ceremonial title of "Chief Engineer" and who paid the company's true founders to falsely describe him as its founder.

But that's not how it works! At its best, expert regulations turns political choices in to policy that reflects the will of democratically accountable, elected representatives. Sometimes this fails, and when it does, the answer is to fix the system – not abolish it.

I have a favorite example of this politics/empiricism fusion. It comes from the UK, where, in 2008, the eminent psychopharmacologist David Nutt was appointed as the "drug czar" to the government. Parliament had determined to overhaul its system of drug classification, and they wanted expert advice:

https://locusmag.com/2021/05/cory-doctorow-qualia/

To provide this advice, Nutt convened a panel of drug experts from different disciplines and asked them to rate each drug in question on how dangerous it was for its user; for its user's family; and for broader society. These rankings were averaged, and then a statistical model was used to determine which drugs were always very dangerous, no matter which group's safety you prioritized, and which drugs were never very dangerous, no matter which group you prioritized.

Empirically, the "always dangerous" drugs should be in the most restricted category. The "never very dangerous" drugs should be at the other end of the scale. Parliament had asked how to rank drugs by their danger, and for these categories, there were clear, factual answers to Parliament's question.

But there were many drugs that didn't always belong in either category: drugs whose danger score changed dramatically based on whether you were more concerned about individual harms, familial harms, or societal harms. This prioritization has no empirical basis: it's a purely political question.

So Nutt and his panel said to Parliament, "Tell us which of these priorities matter the most to you, and we will tell you where these changeable drugs belong in your schedule of restricted substances." In other words, politicians make political determinations, and then experts turn those choices into empirically supported policies.

This is how policy by "unelected bureaucrats" can still be "democratic."

But the Nutt story doesn't end there. Nutt butted heads with politicians, who kept insisting that he retract factual, evidence-supported statements (like "alcohol is more harmful than cannabis"). Nutt refused to do so. It wasn't that he was telling politicians which decisions to make, but he took it as his duty to point out when those decisions did not reflect the policies they were said to be in support of. Eventually, Nutt was fired for his commitment to empirical truth. The UK press dubbed this "The Nutt Sack Affair" and you can read all about it in Nutt's superb book Drugs Without the Hot Air, an indispensable primer on the drug war and its many harms:

https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/drugs-without-the-hot-air-9780857844989/

Congress can't make these decisions. We don't elect enough water experts, virologists, geologists, oncology researchers, structural engineers, aerospace safety experts, pedagogists, gerontoloists, physicists and other experts for Congress to turn its political choices into policy. Mostly, we elect lawyers. Lawyers can do many things, but if you ask a lawyer to tell you how to make your drinking water safe, you will likely die a horrible death.

That's the point. The idea that we should just trust the market to figure this out, or that all regulation should be expressly written into law, is just a way of saying, "you will likely die a horrible death."

Trump – and his hatchet men Musk and Ramaswamy – are not setting out to create evidence-based policy. They are pursuing policy-based evidence, firing everyone capable of telling them how to turn the values espouse (prosperity and safety for all Americans) into policy.

They dress this up in the language of democracy, but the destruction of the expert agencies that turn the political will of our representatives into our daily lives is anything but democratic. It's a prelude to transforming the nation into a land of epistemological chaos, where you never know what's coming out of your faucet.

[cjsoleil]

You’re My Angel Baby (Mingi x Reader)

Summary: Y/N goes to a Halloween party and ends up taking care of a cute, drunk cowboy outlaw. Mingi wakes up in the morning with a vague memory of a girl dressed as an angel, and decides he has to meet her.

Halloween night, and somehow Y/N got swindled into joining her best friend, Seonghwa and his boyfriend, Hongjoong, to some party one of their friends planned. It took a lot of convincing, and even more bribery, but she did agree to go. She's dressed in a all white, a flowey long in the back short in the front dress with pure white boots. She put a silver, sparkly and floral headpiece in her hair and beside her sits a pair of fake white angel wings that she’ll put on when she gets out of the car. A cliche yes, but it was a little last minute. She borrowed the wings from a friend.

“Again with the pirate costume Hongjoong?” Y/N teases from the backseat. Hongjoong is wearing a bandana, white jeans, white shirt that is kinda like a blouse and a jacket. Clearly a pirate, “Is that three years in a row now?”

“Shut up.” Hongjoong snaps his usual comeback.

“You should appreciate me more Joongie.” Seonghwa pats the hand resting on his thigh, “I’ve been adapting my costumes to fit yours for years.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“But I want couples costumes!” That’s true, Seonghwa dressed up as a pirate too a few years back, then a parrot, now the mermaid, well, more like siren. He did his make up to suit his look, wearing a sparkly dress with baggy pants and he painted little scales around his ears, neck, and hands. It’s very much a DIY costume, but still very pretty. He’s going to run out of ideas soon. Y/N zones back in to see the car stopped at a red light and the two boys smiling at each other all cute. She groans and wonders how she’s ended up being these two perminate third wheel.

“Do I really have to come?”

“Sorry dear.” Seonghwa coos and looks back at his friend, “But we need a sober driver.”

“Besides. Your a nursing student, you can stop people from dying from alcohol poisoning.” Hongjoong adds.

“I cannot. You better not bring some shit faced frat boy to me and expect me to take care of him. Or her. Anyone. It’s not my job to take care of people outside my placement.” Because Y/N is not interested in dealing with whatever asshole drank too much. If they get alcohol poisoning from being stupid, it’s not anyone’s problem but their own.

“Whatever you say ratchet.”

“I’ll show you ratchet, Hongjoong.”

“Be nice you two.”

At the party, Y/N makes sure to stay close to Seonghwa and Hongjoong, and she smiles pleasantly at the people they talk to. Luckily it’s not all bad, Jongho and Yeosang are there too, so at least there’s some people she knows. She watches over her friends while they drink, making sure they don’t do anything very stupid. She can condone a little stupidity. It’s all very boring. She doesn’t have a lot of people that she can talk to, and she doesn’t have anything to really do. There’s some people dancing on the open floor, but she’d honestly rather die than become involved with that. On the bright side, someone had the decency to provide food. So after telling her friends, she wanders into the kitchen area and looks at what they have. There’s candy in a big bowl on the counter, and obviously a shit ton of alcohol she’s not able to drink, nothing great. She wishes they had cinnamon doughnuts or something, when a plate on the counter further away catches her eye.

“What the hell!” She whispers shouts, going over and grabbing an candy apple. There very clearly bought by an actual place that knows how to make them based off how well made they are. So she eats one. Or four. Who knows. Fuck she wishes they had a caramel apple too. Those are the best fall treats.

Someone else wanders into the kitchen, Y/N ignores him. Then the sound of glass breaking catches her attention. She turns her head to see a boy dressed as a cowboy staring at the broken cup on the floor, the cupboard at his head is open. He’s wearing a hat and a mask that covers the bottom half of his face, a leather jacket and tight pants. Despite not seeing much of his face, the boy is clearly drunk based off his heavy movements and pink ears. He’s also, Y/N must admit, very attractive. Maybe it’s the effect of the mask, but she just knows a pretty face hides under the mask. She watches as he kneels down, about to pick up the glass.

“Stop.” The boy looks up at her, stopping his movement, “Stay still. You're going to hurt yourself.” After making sure the boy is actually listening to her, Y/N looks around the kitchen for a broom or something. She doesn’t end up finding one, but she does find a rag, so she goes back to the boy, rag in hand just to see him with large pieces of glass in his hand.

“What did I just say?” Y/N sighs and cleans up the glass around the man and taking the piece from his hand, throwing it all out. She goes back to the still kneeling cowboy and crouches next to him, seeing his hand is bleeding. She cringes, not because of the blood, she’s used to that, but just because she imagines it hurts.

“Look at this. You should have listened to me.” She scolds, and the boy has enough sense to be ashamed, looking down.

“Sorry Angel.” He says, speech a little slurred and she can tell he’s pouting behind the mask, “Help me? Please?” Y/N sighs, looks like she’s playing caretaker tonight after all. At least he seems to be nice. She helps him stand up, which is a little hard because he’s much bigger than her.

“What’s your name?”

“Mingi.” She introduces herself as well.

“Well Mingi, let’s get to a bathroom so you can stop bleeding all over the place.” Y/N walks with Mingi, keeping a hand on his back and stabilizing him when he stumbles. Mingi cups his good hand under the bleeding one, but a few drops still get on the floor. She just ignores it, not her problem.

Y/N notices that people are watching her and Mingi, but she just gives them a dirty look when they catch her eye.

“People need to mind their business.” She mumbles, looking around for wherever the bathroom could be. She doesn’t just want to open random doors. More out of fear of being traumatized than out of respect for the homeowners privacy. She doesn’t even know whose party this is, it wouldn’t matter if she chose to snoop a little. Well, that’s a little hypocritical considering what she just said.

“There.” Mingi points to a closed door and Y/N opens it to see a bathroom.

“Okay, wash your hand and go sit on the toilet while I look for a bandage.” Mingi obeys and Y/N rifles through the medicine cabinet. She grabs bandages and isopropyl, as well as a cotton ball.

“Hold out your hand cowboy.”

“Outlaw.” She hears him mumble as she dips some of the isopropyl onto the cotton ball.

“Hm?”

“Outlaw, not cowboy.” Y/N smiles, and gently grabs Mingi’s hand.

“Outlaw, this may sting a bit.” She plays into his words, because what is the harm? While she doesn’t know the difference between an outlaw and a cowboy, she’s not about to start an argument over it. Mingi only cringes a little when he feels the disinfectant. Then Y/N grabs the roll of bandages, wrapping his hand. Mingi stares at her as she works.

“Pretty Angel.” He mumbles out, and Y/N just barely catches it.

“What a charmer.” She laughs, not taking the words of a drunk man seriously. After a few more moments, she’s done with the bandage.

“There.” She pats his hand a few times, “Now there won’t be blood all over the place. Well, anymore blood. I feel bad for whoever has to clean that up.” She laughs and he looks up at her, staring with wide eyes. He keeps his hand held out to her, “What is it?”

“Kiss it better.”

“Huh?”

“Kiss it better please?” Now, anyone else and she would’ve said no instantly and walk away. But Mingi seems so genuine. And he’s so cute and sweet. So Y/N gives a quick kiss to the palm of his bandaged hand.

“Better?” Mingi nods excitedly. He’s still wearing his mask. He should probably take that off, what if he throws up?

“Mingi. Take off your mask please.” Mingi nods and lifts his good hand to his face, tugging at the fabric. But he doesn’t actually do anything efficient. Just how much did he drink? Finding this a little pathetic, Y/N decides doing it herself would be better.

“Mingi, how about I help you?”

“Sure.” She gets the mask off quickly, fingers just grazing against Mingi’s hot ears.

I was right she thinks when she sees Mingi’s face fully, he is hot. Okay, the stares make more sense now. She puts the mask on the sink.

“Thank you Angel.” He says, smiling at the girl.

“You do know that’s not my name right?” Based off Mingi’s confused look, it’s clear he does not understand that.

“Whatever. Do you have a friend to watch over you?”

“Yunho.” Mingi answers, a name Y/N is somewhat familiar with, “but he left. Don’t know where he is.” Y/N is irritated hearing that. Mingi’s friend just abandoned him while he’s clearly not in his right mind, what if someone took advantage of him? Or if he drank more and got alcohol poisoning, or made the stupid decision to drive? When this Yunho comes back, she’s going to give him a strong lecture on how to treat your intoxicated friends.

“We can hang out until he gets here then.” Mingi looks happy hearing that, smiling brightly.

“Thank you Angel.”

“You are so polite.” Y/N comments, and gives into her urge to pat his cheek gently. Then she helps him stand up again, but when he’s standing, Y/N notices that he looks a little off. She’s about to ask about it, but then she hears Mingi make a gagging sound.

“Shit!” She lifts the toilet seat and pushes Mingi to sit, just in time. Mingi throws up in the toilet, and Y/N rubs his back sympathetically. She takes off his hat and holds it in her other hand.

Once the sickness passes, Mingi leans back and is panting and sweating a little.

“Poor guy.” Y/N puts the hat on his lap before opening the drawer under the sink, grabbing a rag. She runs it over cold water and rings it out, before going back over to Mingi. She holds his chin and wipes his face gently. He hums in content.

“Feels good.” He hums again, Y/N compares him to a happy cat. When she’s done, she wets another rag and lays it over the back of his neck. She lets him be for a while, wanting the nausea to pass before even trying to move him again.

“Hey Mingi.” He looks over to her, blinking tiredly, “I’m gonna go do something real quick-“

“Noo.” Hands grab her wings, tugging at the fake feathers, “Don’t go.”

“It will only be for a minute.”

“Angel, stay with me please.” Y/N is left standing still. The sentiment means a lot more than it should, coming from a drunk man. She sighs, wondering whatever made her so soft hearted. Seonghwa and Hongjoong will just have to wonder where she is for a while. So she grabs the mouthwash from under the sink and fills the cap half way, giving it as well as a small cup she found for Mingi to spit in. When he does so, she cleans out the cup in the sink. Curse her for being so nice. And curse Mingi for being so cute. If he wasn’t, she probably would’ve just cleaned up his cut and let him be.

Okay, maybe she isn't really nice.

“Okay cowboy- sorry, outlaw.” She then clicks her tongue with though, “What am I going to do with you?”

“Want to go to my room.”

“Your room? Do you live here?” Mingi nods, stretching his neck.

“Yeah. With my roommates.” Well this makes things a little easier. She will simply bring Mingi to his bedroom so he can sleep this off, and he’ll wake up in the morning without any recollection of her, or anything else that happened tonight. As well as a massive hangover. He’ll probably have to skip class tomorrow, if he has any.

“Wait, do you know where you got those candy apples- actually don’t answer that. Are you feeling better?” Mingi nods, and Y/N squints her eyes at him, “Are you sure? Is your head dizzy, stomach hurting?”

“M’okay.” Well, he is definitely looking more alive than before, so Y/N choses to believe him.

“Up we go then.” She holds out her hands and Mingi grabs them, allowing her to hoist him up until he’s standing. Honestly, she’s pretty proud of herself for being strong enough to do that. When he’s stable, Y/N walks him down the hall until he points to a door, and tells her it’s his bedroom. She opens the door, and quickly ushers him to sit on his double bed that takes up most of the room. She understands the need though, he would never fit in a twin bed like her own.

“Tired Mingi?” The boy yawns in response, making her laugh. She helps Mingi with taking off his shoes and jacket, and Mingi takes off his own shirt.

Oh my god. Y/N has to stop himself from saying the words out loud. She can’t help it, he’s just so so hot. Like seriously, his face was beautiful enough as it is and his body- nope she can’t even think about it without feeling like a pervert. So she quickly pulls back the covers of the bed and gestures for Mingi to lay down there. Then she pulls the blankets over him. She stays standing beside the bed.

“There’s a place downtown that makes them.” Mingi says into the blankets.

“Makes what?”

“The apples. I don’t like sweet stuff very much, but I thought they’d be nice.” He yawns, “Expensive though.”

“I thought so.” Y/N laughs, before whispering playfully, “I’m pretty sure I ate like, half of them though. Sorry about that.”

“Did you like them?”

“Very much.”

“Then it was worth it.” Mingi smiles up at the girl, before patting the side of his bed. Y/N takes the invitation and sits.

“Sorry.”

“For what?”

“Ruining your night.” Y/N smiles, and pets Mingi’s dark hair. She had already put his hat on his nightstand.

“Believe me or not, but this was the best part of my night Mingi.” And really, it was. She’s not into parties, nothing about them is appealing to her. As much as she complained about it to her friends earlier, this was a much more pleasant experience.

“Angel.”

“Yes?”

“You’re so beautiful. And kind.” Mingi lifts a hand, grabbing her arm and really underestimated his strength, pulling the girl on top of him. Letting out a yelp, Y/N plants her hands on the sides of Mingi’s head on the pillow. This leaves their faces only inches apart, and Y/N can smell the alcohol on Mingi. That makes her break eye contact with him and start to push her arms upwards. Before she can get far, Mingi cups her face with one hand, thumb under her chin and fingers splayed out on her cheek. The action puts her in such a state of shock, she doesn’t react in time to move away from him as he lifts his head up, pressing his lips to hers.

Her eyes widen and she quickly pulls away before the kiss can be considered anything more than a peck. Mingi whines when she pulls away.

“Mingi, no.”

“Why not?”

“Why not?” She parrots, frowning a little, “You don’t even know who I am.”

“You’re my Angel baby.” He grins, lets out a little laugh before surging forward, kissing her again. Her mouth opens a little in surprise at being kissed again, giving Mingi the chance to push his tongue into her mouth, the taste of cheep beer still present. And Y/N is just disillusioned enough to lean in for a moment, and she probably would have actually reciprocated if her mind was any more fogged up from a simple kiss. But she’s not about to kiss someone who can’t possibly understand what they’re doing. Maybe kiss someone more would be more accurate.

So she pulls away again, this time pushing a hand on Mingi’s chest to keep him laying down flat on the bed. Mingi groans a little, a complaint, but doesn’t say much more. Until out of nowhere, he mutters.

“We should go out tomorrow.” Only a little fazed, Y/N shakes her head at the question.

“Honey, you’re probably not going to be able to stand properly tomorrow. Just go to sleep.” She continues to pet Mingi’s head, until she’s sure that he’s asleep. Standing up, she grabs the trash can in the corner of the room and puts it next to the bed. Then she grabs a sticky note from his desk and a pen. She writes a quick note, puts it on the nightstand before leaving the room, making sure to close the door as gently as he can.

The party is dwindling down, Y/N notes. So she easily finds Seonghwa and Hongjoong.

“Where were you?” Seonghwa asks when he sees her, “I was worried sick!”

“Sorry Hwa.”

“What were you doing?” Hongjoong questions.

“Playing nurse. Are you ready to go?”

“What happened to ‘I’m not taking care of some drunk loser’?”

“I guess he changed my mind.”

“He?” Seonghwa grins, making Y/N get this sudden feeling of dread, “Who was it? Was he hot? Was he nice to you? Of course he was, you would’ve kicked him to the curb if he was mean-“ Seonghwa trips over nothing, Hongjoong just catches him.

“Careful baby.”

“Thanks Joongie.” Seonghwa leans over and kisses the younger boy. Y/N pretends to gag.

“Wait, why is your face so red?”

“Let’s just go! Please.”

“Fine. You have to tell us all about this guy though!”

“Yeah yeah.”

When Mingi wakes up, he instantly wishes to be asleep again. His head hurts, and he feels so sick he can barely move. God, he shouldn’t have drank so much last night. He sits up, only to be hit with a wave of nausea that has him nearly doubled over.

“Fuck…” he takes a few deep breaths before standing up, groaning as he does so. He notices the trash can by his bed, and wonders how he had enough sense to grab that. Yunho must have moved it for him. His jacket, shoes and shirt are off, as well as his hat. Yunho must have done that too. He takes off his shirt and puts on a pair of sweatpants before heading to the bathroom.

When he comes out, he goes to the living room where Yunho greets him.

“Hey man-“

“Shhh.” Mingi holds his head in his hands as he sits on the couch, “Too loud.” Yunho’s voice was really just barely above a whisper.

“How much did I drink yesterday?”

“I stopped counting after the second beer and the third shot.”

“I swear Yunho, I’m never getting drunk again.” He looks down at his bandaged hand, and tries to recall exactly what he did to hurt himself.

“What happened to my hand?”

“How would I know?”

“Weren’t you the one that wrapped it?” Yunho stares at him with a surprised face.

“Damn, do you really not remember anything from last night?” Mingi shrugs.

“Pretty much.”

“Well, I left around half way through with a few others to grab some beer and you insisted that you stay here. You kept on saying ‘I’m feeling great’ so I just told you to be careful and left. By the time I came back, you were tucked into bed and sleeping like the dead.” Mingi nods along, realizing he can’t rely on Yunho to fill in the blanks of his memory.

“Wait actually, I saw a note on your nightstand.”

“Did you?”

“Yeah. Didn’t read it though.”

“Okay. Can you get me some painkillers or something?”

“Sure.” Mingi goes to his bedroom and there on the nightstand, is a bright pink sticky note. He grabs it and reads the words in black ink.

Hey Mingi,

I can imagine you have quite the hangover today, you were pretty drunk last night. Make sure to clean that cut of yours and wrap it up again, though it will probably be all healed in a few days (The power of a little kiss). Maybe I’ll see you around. Anyways, take care outlaw.

Yours, Angel.

Angel. Images of a woman with no clear face fills his mind. White feathers, the feeling of warm lips on his palm and a hand running through his hair.

Mingi comes out of his room, still holding the note.

“Yunho, did you see anyone dressed as an angel yesterday?”

“It was Halloween. Many people were. Why?”

“The girl that took care of me dressed as one. But I can’t remember her name.”

“What did she look like?”

“Uhh..” Mingi sheepishly scratches the back of his neck, “She was pretty? Look, I’ll know her when I see her.”

“Does that really matter?” Yunho asks, tilting his head, “I mean, yeah, I get that she took care of you. That was very nice of her, but do you have to meet her?”

“Of course I do.” Mingi lays back down on rhe couch, closing his eyes.

“Oh my god you have a thing for her. You have a thing for a girl who’s name you do not know, you don’t know what she looks like and know nothing about her as a person.”

“Not true.” Mingi objects, “I know she’s sweet, pretty, angelic.” Mingi snorts, “Oh, and that she likes candy apples.”

“Whoa Mingi, sounds like it’s time to pop the question to Miss Angel.”

“I wish she would’ve left her number.” Mingi complains, placing a pillow over his face.

“Well, I’ll ask around if anyone knows her, but it’s gonna be hard without knowing anything about her.”

“Thanks Yunho.”

“I’m heading to class, you staying in?” Mingi nods slightly, “Thought so. Painkillers are in the kitchen.”

“Thanks Yunho. See ya.”

“Later.”

The next day, Mingi actually does go to school. He was hoping that miraculously, Angel would be in one of his classes. Unfortunately, this was not the case for him. Yunho, like he said, mentioned her to some people but at last, no luck. Really though, he didn’t expect more. At the moment, he’s at a cafe near campus with Hongjoong and San, doing a little group review.

“Where’s your other half?” San questions Hongjoong, wondering where the older boy is.

“He’s in the library.”

“And you left him alone?” Hongjoong rolls his eyes.

“I would’ve followed, but Seonghwa said that I couldn’t since he and ratchet were studying for biology I think.”

“Ratchet?” Mingi questions.

“Y/N. Seonghwa’s nursing friend.”

“That is so mean of you.” San says, shaking his head at Hongjoong nicknaming this poor girl after a crazy murderous nurse. Mingi finds the name a little familiar, but he can’t put his finger on it, so he doesn’t question it.

“You weren’t in class yesterday.” San states.

“Yeah, i had this massive hangover. Felt dead.”

“What happened with your hand?”

“I don’t remember, but I think I cut it on a piece of glass or something.”

“Damn, you really were wasted.” Mingi can only agree.

“Please please please please-“

“Seonghwa.”

“Y/N please just tell me about this guy.” Seonghwa begs, shaking Y/N’s shoulders. She was supposed to tell him on the way home from the party, but he fell asleep right away. And yesterday they were too busy, “You don’t even need to tell me who it was.”

“Fine.” Y/N relents, shutting her text book, “He was tall, handsome and sweet.”

“Oh!” Seonghwa puts his hands over his heart, “All one could want in a man.”

“You only have two of the three.” Seonghwa kicks her but is still laughing.

“He asked if he could go out with me?”

“What? You said yes right?” Y/N shrugs.

“I didn’t say anything. It was just talk anyways. He was drunk.”

“Either way, you should have left your number with him.”

“No point, he didn’t even know my name. Just called me Angel the whole night.”

“That is so cute but unhelpful.” Seonghwa sighs, “What did you guys even do?” She tells her friend about the boy cutting himself by accident and having to clean up his cut, and tuck him into bed.

“So cute.” He analyzes his friend for another moment, “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar. I can tell. What’s up?” Y/N dramatically groans and puts her heads in her hands, mumbling her words, “Excuse me?”

“We may have… kissed.”

“You kissed!” Seonghwa exclaims, Y/N is quick to shush him.

“Shut up!”

“Sorry this is just crazy to me.”

“What is? That guys only want to kiss me when they’re drunk?”

“Ha. Who initiated it?”

“Him obviously.”

“Come on! Give me the details.” Y/N can’t refuse.

“He kissed me, I said that was irresponsible, he kissed me again and fell asleep like five minutes after.” Seonghwa aw’s as Y/N dramatically rests her head on her arms.

“Wait, is this not cute? Were you not okay with it? If not, I’ll find him and beat him up.” Y/N looks up at him, “Fine, Hongjoong will beat him up.” A long pause, “Jongho will beat him up.”

“There you go. But no, it was… fine? Really, If he was sober, I probably would have actually kissed him back.” Though if he was sober, she’s sure neither of them would have paid the other any mind whatsoever.

“You know if you tell me his name I could probably find him and you set you guys up.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“Noo.” Seonghwa pulls the girl into a hug, “We love you.”

“If you do, can we stop talking about this and study.”

“Fine. I have to go soon though, I said I’d meet up with Hongjoong later. Would you like to accompany us?”

“Ew.”

“You won’t be saying that when you and mystery boy get together. We can go on a double date!”

“Stop pushing your couple agenda on me.”

After a few hours of studying at the café, the two boys start to back up their bags to leave. San has already left. They hear the bell at the door ring, and Mingi’s sees Seonghwa make his way towards the table.

“Hey Joongie.” Seonghwa greets Hongjoong, leaning down to kiss his cheek before saying hi to Mingi.

“How are you guys?” He asks while sitting down.

“Good.” “Slightly hungover.” Seonghwa snorts at Mingi’s comment. But his laughter stops when he sees the bandage on Mingi’s hand.

“Hey, what happened with your hand?” Mingi looks down at his hand.

“I think I cut it on something, but I don’t really remember.”

“Huh.” Seonghwa hums for a moment before his eyes lighten up.

“Mingi, do you remember anything from your party?”

“A little bit yeah, why?”

“Did you spend anytime with a girl there? She-“

“Angel?” Mingi asks, wide eyed. He was planning to ask Hongjoong about her before they left.

“She was dressed as an Angel yes!” Seonghwa claps his hands in joy, “I’m so smart, I thought this would take longer to figure out.”

“Ohh.” Hongjoong says, just clueing in, “Mingi was the guy Y/N watched over at the party? Man, you didn’t tell me that.”

“I didn’t know who she was! I was gonna ask you if you knew a girl dressed as an angel.”

“Small world.” Seonghwa smiles, “She said you asked her out, is that true?”

“I really don’t know, sorry Hwa.” Mingi runs a hand through his hair, “But I’d love to actually meet her, thank her in person at least. Could you give me her number?” Seonghwa shakes his head.

“No, she’d be upset if I did that.” Patting the table, Seonghwa thinks, “but… if you did happen to run into her outside class, well that would be fate.”

“Would you?”

“I’ll text you her next class right now.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. You’d be good together.”

“What?”

“Let’s go Hwa, bye Mingi.” Hongjoong and Seonghwa leave, and Mingi choses to ignore Seonghwa’s comment.

He leaves the café and starts walking back to his place. The street he’s on has a ton of little shops and bakeries, so he window shops a little as he makes his way. The a sight makes him stop. There in the window, is a display case of different candy apples. A picture plays in his mind, of a pretty girl in an Angel costume eating the candied fruit in his kitchen. His phone buzzes from his pocket, and he pulls it out and sees a text from Seonghwa. He texted the younger the building, classroom number, as well as the start and end times.

Are you sure she won’t mind?

It’s fine! Tell her I sent you

I’m glad I can blame you

Great. Have fun ;)

Mingi looks at the display case again, before stepping inside.

I hate kinesiology Y/N thinks as she steps out of her classroom. She makes her way out of the building, weaving through the crowd of people. When she’s outside, just a few meters away from the building door, she feels someone tap her shoulder. Turning around, she sees a sight she wasn’t expecting to see so soon.

“Mingi?”

“Hi Angel.” Mingi grins with a small blush on his face, one hand held behind his back.

“Isn’t this a surprise.” Y/N can’t help but smile.

“Yeah, um, I just wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me the other night. You didn’t have to.” Y/N shakes her head, waving a hand in the air.

“No problem. I’m surprised you remember me.” Mingi blushes more, and shifts his feet.

“Well, I kinda didn’t. But I saw your note and remembered a girl dressed as an angel, but not what you looked like.”

“Hm.” Y/N hums, and crosses her arms, shifting her weight to her right leg, “Disappointed?”

“God no.” Mingi answers immediately, “You’re pretty.”

“You said that.”

“Did I?”

“Multiple times. Thank you. How do you know who I am though? If you didn’t know what I looked like.” Mingi looks a little flustered and avoids eye contact.

“I ran into Seonghwa and he figured that you were the one who took care of me because of, well, this.” He lifts his own bandaged hand, “He told me your name and that you were here and that your class would be ending around this time so I came by to see if I could catch you. And I knew I would recognize you once I saw you. Even without the wings.” He spoke so fast, Y/N barely caught all of his words.

“I see. How’s the hand?”

“Good, uh, I was wondering what you meant, by your note?”

“The kiss comment?” Y/N laughs uncomfortably, pulling at the ends of her hair, “Well, um, you did ask me to kiss your hand better…”

“And?”

“You- don’t be upset please- you did kiss me. Twice.” Mingi looks ready to combust from the embarrassment he’s feeling.

“I did? Fuck, Y/N I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. You were-“

“Please don’t say I was drunk. That’s no fucking excuse.” Y/N smiles softly.

“Fine. I forgive you.” Mingi laughs.

“You shouldn’t give in so easily. Here.” He pulls the box from behind his back and presents the caramel apple to her.

“For you.” He tells her, watching as the girl gives him an expression of pure joy.

“You-“ Y/N starts, taking the boxed caramel apple from Mingi’s hand, “Are the sweetest.” It seems that Mingi remembered a little more than she thought.

“Seonghwa said that I apparently asked you out.” Y/N nods in agreement, Mingi takes a deep breath, “I wanted to let you know that the question is still open, I’d love to go out with you.” Silence is all he gets in response. He feels a sense of dread in his stomach, but that soon leaves when he actually looks at the girl to see that she looks… flustered?

“Really? Um, yeah that- that would be nice.”

“And…” Mingi takes a breath, stepping closer to the girl. He slowly lifts his hand and rests it in the nape of her neck.

“If it’s not too much to ask, could I get a little reminder of what I forgot?” Blood rushes to Y/N’s ears and her heart beats faster. She brings her hands to his shoulders, grabbing onto the fabric of his shirt.

“I suppose I can.” Mingi leans down and brings his face close to the girl. Before his lips can meet hers though, Y/N covers his mouth with her hand, “Not now.” Mingi grabs her wrist and kisses the palm of her hand.

“After an actual date.” Where I don’t witness you throw up. She doesn’t say that know. She doesn’t want to embarrass him too much just yet. With a quick motion of his wrist, Mingi links their hands and brings them down.

“Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“On a date. Duh.” Y/N grins.

“Aw, our first, completely sober date!”

“I’m never drinking that much again.”

When Halloween rolled around the next year, Mingi did, in fact, drink that much again. It’s okay though, he still had an angel to take care of him.

[bombuni]

contains: soft jongho

“No.”

“No what?”

Jongho knows his firm words have not penetrated your emotional wall one bit. Realistically he could never deny you of anything, the use of the word ‘no’ with you completely foreign to him. But this time he just wants the future benefit of being able to say ‘I told you so.’

You hold the raggedy looking kitten in your arms as it eats out of the spoon Jongho holds out in front of it. Its mouth moves a mile a minute. He thinks it’s frighteningly tiny, quite ugly and smelly too. But you’re holding it like it’s a darling, million-dollar jewel with pure love in your eyes and he can’t help but be smitten with everything that is about you, you, you.

You wave it’s black paw towards Jongho, the smile on your face glowing, “Say hello, daddy,”

Jongho wants to grimace and deny you, but a laugh breaks loose out of him, “I am no one’s daddy,”

You raise a brow at that, and he already knows you’re going to say something stupid, so he shuts you up with a kiss to your forehead and takes the black furball out of your hands. It looks comedically small against Jongho’s larger frame, but he holds it like a gentle flower and you’re sure the kitten’s alright.

“We will keep him for one night,” your squeal of joy makes Jongho smile, “But, we’re not naming him, ok? And he’s going away in the morning time,” He doesn’t look up at you once while he’s talking and you’re sure your bribery to keep the kitten is working, despite what he may say.

“But look at him, honey,” you pout up at him, “So sad. So alone in the little cardboard box I found him in, you should’ve seen it,”

Jongho scrunches his nose, a scrutinizing look pointed at you, “You probably kidnapped him,”

You feign offense, “Did not! Someone totally abandoned him,”

He hums, too focused on the sound of the now sleeping kitten’s purrs. You lean your head on his shoulder, arms winding around his waist. He wants to laugh at how you’re seriously looking at the kitten like you’ve been waiting 9 months for it, but he’s suffocating on his adoration for you. He forgets that your sensitivity and gentleness is something that’s reserved for him. He forgets what a rare, beautiful sight you are. He forgets how big his love for you is, but good thing you’re here to remind him.

He speaks softly, “We should name him Bear.”

bom note: sorry i’m madly in love with jongho. as if it’s my fault. reqs are open :>

[sweetbunpura]

Dangit. All the Returned!Yuu posts have given me an angst/fluff idea. Yuu is Leona’s baby sibling and was the only one he felt close to. Yuu wanted Leona above everyone else as a baby and for little Leona, that was enough. Leona was there when whatever creature/event took Yuu, it’s how he got his scar. It’s the thing that fully broke the prince.

When Yuu arrives during the sorting ceremony Leona smells them and some hope pulls at his heartstrings. But Yuu doesn’t have any of their original beastman traits, so Leona talks himself out of it. Slowly Yuu gains magic and starts acting more like other beastmen (stronger senses, little more predatory, lil growls). But nothing solid until Leona’s overblot. They get to see Leona’s past like in the game, but now with memories of Leona taking care of baby Yuu. Yuu recognizes a baby blanket/necklace/charm Leona had gifted them and calls it out. Before Leona can react they return to the real world. Now Yuu has ears and a tail. Leona wakes up and just stares in disbelief, wondering if it’s real.

They bond and grow closer so fast. Leona finally has his person back, and Yuu feels like they are finally whole but feel like it’s their fault Leona was so hurt. Leona wants to go back home even less (wants to hog Yuu all to himself) before Cheka appears. Yuu could help Leona communicate his ideas more to Falena and get him to show off more. Yuu 100% does not like the bird man and jabs back every time he puts Leona down. Cheka grows quickly on Yuu, but they also feel jealous of the cub cause it’s obvious Leona loves him (Yuu fighting with feeling replaced and not being able to have a childhood with their family). Yuu also has a close relationship with Ruggie and learns about the slums and other parts/people of the Sunset Savanna. Yuu may or may not get Leona to help more with the slums (also helping keep Falena from stopping them) and Leona gains the people’s favor and becomes the first prince of the lesser people.

Uh! I could just go on! Feels like it could have so much potential.

Leona with that hopeful flare in his chest, but not a scent of a lion on Yuu anywhere. Anytime he tries to smell Yuu for anything, the scent just smells burnt. He gets angry, angrier than he normally gets, and tries to ignore the idea that Yuu could be his lost baby sibling. His first glimpse that it might actually be Yuu is when he attacks Yuu and Grim in the garden after stepping on his tail, Yuu blocks it out of pure instinct.

Leona sees Yuu's pupils turn into slits before they round out and return to normal. He leaves immediately afterwards, too hurt by what just happened. After Leona's overblot, he wakes up to a lot of chatter, there's something heavy on his chest and he looks down. Yuu's looking at him with their ears flatten and tears in their eyes. They saw all of what happened and They're so sorry for what he went through after Yuu went missing.

His ndugu is finally back and Leona breaks down and holds onto Yuu. Finally, his will to live has returned to him. Yuu and Leona try to get them transferred to Savanaclaw, with some bribery. Leona's telling Yuu about everything they missed and everything that's happening.

Under Leona's help, Yuu managed to unlock their Unique Magic: Lion's Fury. While Leona's turns things into sand, Yuu's causes a fiery blaze.

Leona: Yours is just like mine. Guess we both just cause destruction-

Yuu: Not exactly. Mine can burn stuff, yeah, but it also allows for new growth.

Leona: Which mine doesn-

Yuu: What if someplace gets invaded by an invasive plant? Your sand could kill that plant in no time at all, saving vegetation and the likes.

Leona: ...I'll be honest, I never thought of that before.

Yuu being Leona's baby sibling is adorable, but not look at all the books past this moment. Leona would be pissed at Azul and would easily agree to Yuu's plan without having to force his hand. Scarabia's chapter would cause Leona to be called and get involved in it. Ignihyde now has Yuu going for both Grim AND Leona.

[paimonial-rage]

symbiosis - ayato

[random writing event] | requested by @andromeda-nova-writing

“My lord,” you began, “With all due respect, this is exactly why the new interns never last long.”

Ayato hummed in thought as he made his way down the halls of Tenshukaku. Upon his face was his usual smiling expression, a mask he learned early on in his career as Yashiro Commissioner. And there you were a few steps behind him as was proper for retainers.

“Is that so?” He replied with mock curiosity. “I can’t say I saw anything wrong with how the meeting went. Such is normal for the course of the commission, after all.”

He didn’t have to turn around to know you were shaking your head in exasperation.

“With all due respect, supporting you through seven financial meetings, four meetings with the branch families, thirteen inspections, and eight financial reports due by the end of the week would make even a competent worker cry.”

He nodded with a hand against his chin in thought.

“Yes, not even I expected they would break out into tears.”

“Excuse my forwardness, but any normal person would have learned to expect it by now. Perhaps it would be prudent to schedule a visit with the doctor to check your memory, my lord.”

He chuckled.

“The way you find such things to say is fascinating. Perhaps I should assign more work to devote more of your creative mind to.”

There was silence for a few seconds.

“My apologies, my lord. Unfortunately, my schedule is completely full. Perhaps another time.”

As he continued to his next engagement, Ayato couldn’t help but find it amusing the back and forth you both often had. You were a spy, after all, and not one of his. That being said, you were not anyone else’s either, much less one of his enemies’. You infiltrated the Yashiro Commission and worked your way up to his side based purely on personal motives.

Though it was well known he placed loyalty and trust above all else, you were a bit of a special case. A bit of research into you revealed you were from a fallen family subordinate to the Hiiragi clan. Through corruption and intimidation, your father was framed for bribery and theft and was thus executed by the Shogun herself. It would make sense that you, as the only child of the family, wanted revenge.

Thus, it was a smart move on your part to align yourself with the Yashiro Commission. As Ayato had connections and leads from all over Inazuma, as long as you remained by his side, you gained access to all the information you could ever need. As to why he didn’t expel you the moment he learned of your difference in loyalty? Your enemies were the same as his, but ones he couldn’t touch. It served him just as well that you would get rid of them.

Besides, he had to admit your company was much appreciated. You performed your duties effectively and efficiently without room for complaint. And though you had a tongue on you, it gave a reprieve from all the false smiles and niceties he had to endure on a daily basis. Dare he say it, he enjoyed being around you. It made him wonder…

“And once that time comes that you’re finally free, what will you do then?”

Would you leave, finally able to live your life for yourself?

He didn’t have to wait long for your response.

“I’ll devote my everything to you, my lord.”

He couldn’t stop the smile that came to his lips.

“Then I shall hold you to it.”

—

[[Sequel/Prequel? ((idk))]]

[cloudytardigrade]

things I loved about the new longform (now one of my favourites)

•Luke being so confused in the beginning and then the "ohhh"

•The echoing mic was iconic

•Mrs Claus's sass

•Luke saying "What the fuck is Snowdrop??"

•"I have loved you since 0 AD"

•"I was a wise man" "I was dressed as a sheep"

•"You can call me a giant elf if you want but I don't give a shit, do y'know that?"

•The awkwardness of Snowdrop having to watch Mr and Mrs Claus argue

•"Barbados is on the naughty list. All of it"

•Also Krampus IS one of the best SFTH characters.

•The relationship between Santa and Snowdrop. THE PROTECTIVENESS <33

•"You just gonna keep being an asshole to me?.."

•The eyebrow raise from Snowdrop when Santa says "You slept with Javier!"

•The casual "See ya later" from Mrs Claus after having an argument that will probably end their relationship

•TOM PLAYING VILLAINS HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT.

•"Breakfast, lunch and dinner: Santa's smiles"

•"September, October, yeah I'll do it, then November comes and it's like "fucking hell!!"

•Javier??? Xavier's long lost twin??

•I WILL be making fanart of the characters, specifically Krampus and Snowdrop bc they're my favs

•The hold back of laughter from Luke when Santa says "we recently found out this year that all elves have ADHD"

•"About time, Luke-I mean, Snowdrop"

•Sam singing 😭

•The little hand movements Luke does after Santa accidentalky says "Luke" instead of Snowdrop

•Krampus talking in third person

•The way Krampus and Little Krampus get around

•"You have DHHA" "Damn Hot Attention Awareness"

•The hair caress that Krampus gives Little Krampus, which shows their love

•Krampus holding his leg whilst moving

•"Welcome to the North Pole airport"

•Luke literally throwing his head back with laughter in the sidelines

•Mrs Claus not knowing how passports work

•The banter on how passports work

•I love how happy and enthusiastic Tom seems

•"Oh, bribery!" "That's also a crime!"

•The poses for the photo booth

•Poor Snowdrop :(

•"That's Krampus! The most wanted terror!st in the North Pole"

•Tom's out-loud commentary, and Luke just nodding

•"Where's our bowl full of jelly laughs? This is SHIT"

•"Barbados.. Let me check the map *pulls out map* There"

•Snowdrop's smirk when one of the elves says "We're not allowed passports" and then "There's a photo booth"

•"I'll climb up on your shoulders" "Oh really?" "Yeah" "Okay"

•The name's if the characters on the presents in at the start is really cute (damn they really know the fanbase huh)

•"I have an alternative proposal" "I'd probably prefer mine, to be honest 😏"

•"Oh, actually, fuck yeah, that's great"

•"Rudolph motherfuckerrr"

•"The teddy bears are getting married" dude. how can he say something as pure and wholesome as that and NOT expect me to combust

•Forgetting the reindeers names and an audience member helping them out

•"I was expecting a sexy lady with a big beard"

•Javier turning the elves head to look at him

•"Christmas is ruined, there's no laughter for us to eat"

•"Ho ho ho is gleeful laughter"

•Everyone subtly making fun of Mrs Claus saying "I was caught on a cloud"

•"You're his muse. His inspiration" ☹️☹️

•"Hey, let's not blame someone with a disorder, shall we?"

•"Sometimes, the hyper focus is really useful for making toys. One day, I made a thousand game boys. They said to try and make something else, I said "fuck that!""

•Krampus's song

•"Krampus grows more powerful!!"

•"Little Krampus has a gun now!! Ho ho ho.. 😈😈😈"

•The deep "I'm everywhere"

•"No no no no no"

•"Poor little teddy bear Christmas man!"

•"Ahhh.. A Christmas gun..."

•"One present from every child.. goes to Krampus's tum tum!"

•WHY ARE THEY SOME THE MOST GORGEOUS AMAZING PEOPLE EVER TO EXIST EVER??? LIKE THEY ALWAYS LOOK GOOD.

•"I feast on the tears of the children!!"

•"Find the joy... Santa"

•Definitely wasn't hoping for a kiss scene or something...

•"You are nothing little lady girl.. I'm a sex!st as well"

•"Your wife is my wife now"

•"Hehehehehe"

•"Look at my little piss boy"

•When they all start singing "All I Want For Christmas Is You" very slowly and eerily

•"What is this song? This wasn't around when I was put beneath the ice"

•Most beautiful men ever ngl

•"AVADA KEDAVRA!!"

(So basically the entire play)

[writing-relatedactivities]

A Very Ask A Manager Thanksgiving

So I love advice blogs (I maintain that comment sections on advice blogs are the best free tool for writers to explore different viewpoints, which really enriches your characterization), and for a few years now, I have had this idea that I want to do a do an Ask A Manager themed dinner, purely to delight myself. Meant to do it as a cookout this summer, but timing never worked out, so I broached the idea of doing it for Thanksgiving. My partner, who is also a nerd and therefore very supportive of my advice blog love even though it is not one of their interests, was down, with their only condition being that I should still make my cider bread with maple butter.

The menu:

Appetizers

Chips with:

Guacamole in honor of Guacamole Bob, of "ordering extra guacamole is wasteful of member dues” fame. (This being on the menu may also have been a factor in Partner being willing to have our holiday take on an Ask A Manager theme, as I once took a community education course on grilling that taught me nothing about its ostensible subject matter but did teach me to make a bomb-ass guacamole. The secret is that your first step should be to pulverize an entire head of garlic into a paste in your mocajete.)

Three store bought salsas, where the trick is to "fold" the salsa to get the best flavor

A bottle of hot sauce so we can get fired after a coworker steals our spicy food

Main Course

"Duck club" sandwiches in honor of the secret office sex club where you get points for sex in different locations, and quacking is involved. (These were very decadent and if anyone's interested in a great duck recipe, I used the Duck with Lemon recipe from A Feast of Ice and Fire.)

Sides

Cheap-ass rolls that I definitely deliberately brought to upstage you, yes you, the person who signed up to bring Hawaiian rolls! It's definitely not an overreaction on your part to declare that "they can all take Santa and stick it up their ass!" You're definitely not getting fired for being wildly hostile! (These are actually homemade rolls, but I weighed "buy actually cheap rolls and be done" or "spend a couple hours adapting a corgi butt roll recipe to a human butt roll," and chose in favor of the pun.)

Dessert

Bribery cupcakes, from that time a letter writer brought some cupcakes over to chat with her neighbor, the son of the Chief of Police, about a disruptive noise issue in her workplace and some commenters decided this constituted bribing a public servant. (The recipe is in the comments on that link; I made the carrot cake version. However, I realized halfway through that I was somehow low on vanilla despite obsessively buying fancy vanilla extract every time I am in a spice shop, along with a bunch of other things I don't need because buying cool spices makes me feel like a wizard. Anyway, half of these had vanilla in the filling/icing, and the other half had cardamom extract.)

A birthday cake that somehow crosses boundaries by...being too fancy? Being paid for a staff person? Not involving the wife in the planning? Anyway, the real answer to the letter writer's question is, "Eh, I don't think it's a big deal" because different offices have different norms around birthdays and it's whatever, but sometimes a low-stakes office norms question hits just right and you get 630 comments of people debating The One True Way to Do Office Birthdays, and whether or not buying a cake means you're angling for an affair. (Okay, not all the comments are about that particular letter. Anyway, I picked up this fancy-ass cake at Marc Heu Patisserie, and appropriately enough, the guy ahead of me in line was picking up a cake for his boss.)

And of course, what Ask A Manager column would be complete without chocolate teapots?

Beverages

Mudslides, because "girls love chocolate." And magic tricks. And being played "You're So Vain" on the piano with a mournful stare. Partner and I are both notorious lightweights but I had been snacking all day as I cooked so I was mostly immune. Partner took one sip of this drink and immediately began loudly telling me how their one colleague doesn't sing enough to his Pre-K students, and "this classroom will do anything if you sing to them!" After dinner, they lay down on the floor and sang the Slippery Fish song.

The full spread:

[gardensgatekeeper]

Money Talks

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 1,843

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI! Little bit of fluff, angst, swearing, degradation, dom/cocky Jake, allusions to being paid for sex work, daddy kink, rich/sugar daddy Jake, sir Jake, penetrative sex, fingering, rough sex, minor choking. As always, please let me know if I missed anything!

Partially inspired by this little moment from bourbon and beyond 🫠

They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy silence.

The sun peeking through the window was every so slightly blinding as your eyes squinted open. Rolling over, you couldn’t help but smile at his soft features and the little snores that escaped his mouth. You don’t know how, but Jake had to be the world’s heaviest sleeper. You recall one morning where you’d gotten up to make breakfast but not without setting off the smoke alarm. Needless to say, you were extremely confused when he didn’t come downstairs to investigate the loud commotion. There he laid, unmoving and still knocked out in bed like nothing had happened.

You remained there in bed with him for a bit longer, taking in every ounce of the warmth his body was radiating. But eventually, your bladder was screaming at you to get up. After doing your business, you got ready for the day. Though you had no plans, it was a rare day where both of you didn’t have any work commitments and you wanted nothing more than to spend the afternoon with Jake doing whatever your hearts desired.

Not wanting to disturb the sleeping beauty just yet, you headed downstairs to make breakfast, sans smoke alarm this time. You kept yourself busy, tidying up the house a bit and catching up on some chores before you started feeling a bit stir crazy. The clock on the wall read 12:19pm and you knew if there was any chance of doing anything with Jake today, you were going to have to quite literally drag him out of bed.

Heading back upstairs, you found your lover still snuggled under the covers, sleeping the day away. “Jake.” You called out. Nothing. “Jake.” You said a bit louder this time, dragging out his name. Still nothing. Shaking your head, you walked over to the bed before pushing him over on his back, climbing on the bed and straddling him. Leaning down, you grabbed his face and placed a soft kiss to his lips. “Jakey, time to wake up baby.” You whispered in his ear.

That seemed to finally do the trick as you felt his hands escape from underneath the covers, gently resting on your hips. His eyes peeked open, taking in the sight of you in front of him. “And to what do I owe the pleasure m’lady?” He rasped out. The way his morning voice sounded like pure sex sent shivers straight to your core.

“Well, we both have the day off and I was thinking we could do something fun like take a stroll downtown? I think that new bakery on fifth finally opened! Then maybe we could go-”

You paused for a moment when Jake suddenly shifted up in bed and reached over to grab his wallet from the bedside table. Curiously, you watched as he pulled a fresh $100 bill from the worn leather and casually dropped in the space between your two bodies.

You were extremely confused and just assumed he was looking for something in his wallet. Shaking your head, you continued to speak, sharing possible activities to fill what was left of the afternoon. Oddly enough, for every new idea you mentioned, he seemed to pull out another bill. 

Does he normally have this much cash on him?

“Jake, what are you doing? Why are you pulling money out of your wallet?” You finally asked.

“Babe, I love you to death, but the only thing I’m interested in doing today is enjoying some peace and quiet.” He quipped.

“Oh, so what? This is your way to shut me up? Bribery?” You gasped, clutching your chest in faux hurt and devastation.

His eyes twinkled with curiosity and something else you couldn’t quite pick up on. “Seems to be that way, I suppose. Would you say this amounts to be worth your time? Is it too much? Or has your rate gone up?” He spoke lowly, glancing down at the pile of money in between you.

“I think you should toss a few more in there just to be safe. Though I’m sure we can always make a deal to work out any discrepancies.”

Your jaw dropped slightly as he flipped his wallet over completely, opening it and letting more cash fall out. There had to be at least two or three thousand dollars in front of you. Your mouth hung open in complete shock with a slight grin as you looked back at the smirk Jake was wearing. Of course you knew that being a rockstar had its perks, especially financially, but Jake wasn’t the type to go around flaunting anything. But the thought of him (literally) throwing his money at you ignited a flame you never knew existed.

He seemed to notice the switch in you as he suddenly moved, or rather pushed you off his lap while throwing the covers off himself. The movement of the covers sent the cash flying all over the bed and you sat up on your elbows as Jake towered over you.

“So, you were sayi-” He didn’t even have time to finish his sentence as you reached up to grab his face, pulling him down on top of you. The kiss was feverish and hungry and you found yourself subconsciously moving your hips up, trying to get even the slightest bit of relief. He helped you shimmy out of your jeans before slipping your top over your head.

Jake sat up and you realized just how quickly the roles had been reversed from the position you were in not even two minutes prior. His eyes darkened at the sight in front of him. There, you laid on a pile of his money in just your bra and panties. From Jake’s perspective, it was something straight out of a wet dream, except this time, it was real.

Leaning back down, he gave his full attention to leaving a trail of dark love bites from your neck all the way down to your hip. You couldn’t help but wrap your hands in his hair for leverage, humming out from the pure bliss his touch left you with. He toyed with the band of your panties for a moment, biting at the elastic before letting it snap back against your skin. You gasped out at the slight sting that quickly faded into pleasure.

He chuckled before diverting his focus back to your folds that were now slick with desire. His fingers ghosted over your sensitive nerves and your hips bucked forward in response. “Jake please.” You begged, not even caring how desperate you were at the moment. “I’ll get you there, just be patient, hm?” He offered, softly nibbling at your earlobe. 

He started out easy with just one finger, but it wasn’t long before he added a second, and then a third. His fingers pumped in and out of you tirelessly and you couldn’t help but clench around him tightly everytime his fingers curled inside you. He very quickly found the one spot that sent your eyes rolling to the back of your head, a plethora of pornographic sounds leaving your body. His thumb added pressure to your clit and you swore you saw stars. “You feel like velvet, so soft. It’s like this pretty pink pussy was made just for me.” He hotly whispered in your ear.

“D-Don’t stop Jake. Gonna c-cum.” The words were barely coherent as they left your mouth but he understood just fine as he continued to work his fingers into you while still circling your bundle of nerves. You were right there but just before you reached the euphoric state, his fingers retreated and you whined out from the orgasm you were just robbed of.

“Jake, what the hell?” You breathed out. He brought his fingers up to your lips and you wrapped your mouth around them, cleaning off the juices coating them. Just when you thought he was about to pull his fingers back, he pushed them back further until they touched the back of your throat, making you gag around them.

“Now I thought we had an agreement here. All this compensation and you’re still yapping. Not a very good deal if you ask me.” He taunted, finally drawing his fingers back and letting you catch your breath.

“Fuck, I- I’m sorry Jak-“

“Ah ah. Try again.” He interrupted.

You smirked slightly before responding. “I’m sorry Daddy. I’ll be good, I promise. Please, just fuck me.” You pleaded with a sultry tone.

His eyes darkened at the unexpected name and you swore you heard him quietly moan. You knew he liked being called sir, but decided he fit the sugar daddy role a little better right now. Quickly slipping off the linen pajama pants he still wore, he nestled his knee in between your knees. He teased his hard cock a few times, making you more frustrated by the second. “Plea-”

Before you could even finish, he snapped his hips against yours without warning, bottoming out fully. You cried out, more out of shock than pain and his eyes searched yours to wait for confirmation to continue. “Fuck, keep going.” You panted.

“Yeah? You like being fucked on my money? Just a groupie after my cash? That’s all you are aren’t you? Pathetic fucking gold digger.”

You and Jake both knew that his money was not a factor in your relationship, but something about the way he was speaking to you like this turned you on more than you could explain, and he could tell by the way you subconsciously clenched around his dick.

His hand moved up to your neck before resting around your throat as he continued to rock his hips into you. The slight restricted blood flow to your brain mixed with the intense pleasure he was giving you was an indescribable feeling. Leaning forward, his hot breath whispered filthy insults in your ear. You were too far gone to comprehend everything he was saying but somehow still managed to pick up on words like “whore” and “slut,” which only fueled your impending orgasm. Jake shifted a bit, pushing both of your legs up against your chest. Your breath hitched as the new angle allowed him to hit a spot deeper than before. Digging your nails in his back, all you could mutter out was a mix of “Jake” and “fuck” as you neared your release.

“C’mon, give it to me. Let me have it.” His demanding tone seemed to be the final thing you needed before your orgasm violently overtook you. Jake continued rocking inside you until you felt him reach his release as well. The two of you stayed there for a moment to come down from your highs. After a moment, he slowly pulled out and rested up on his arms, just barely hovering above you, the biggest shit eating grin on his face.

He reached up to grab a few of the bills by your head before bringing it back between the two of you, casually slipping them underneath your bra strap.

“Now, what is it you were saying earlier?”

✶ ✶ ✶

Taglist:

@jannysarcher @bimbokiszka @stardustcatcher

[cloudspaintedblue]

Come Rest Your Bones Next To Me, And Toss All Your Thoughts To The Sea

Christine x GN!Reader

Raoul x GN!Reader

The Phantom (Erik) x GN!Reader

(Separately)

What the trio would get you for your anniversary!

Warnings/Notes: I admit I’m a Raoul hater so his part is going to be ass, fair warning

Christine

• Most likely is sneaking away from the Opera House to have an outing with you so don’t expect a super long date if rehearsals are supposed to be going on.

• Something sweet and simple, she knows what it’s like to be.. love bombed.. shall we say so she likes to enjoy the smaller things with you. A picnic as the sun rises or sets, doing each others hair and dressing in extravagant clothing which may or may not be costumes, enjoying sweets and tea somewhere hidden in the opera house so you can be alone (+Erik).

• Singing for you; showing all of her hard work on the newest song she needs to learn, if you are a singer yourself she definitely has a few duets up her sleeve.

• I feel like she’s more of a ‘few meaningful gifts’ kind of person as opposed to spending all of her money on things she doesn’t even know you’ll use.

• If you’ve at any point mentioned something special from your childhood she wants to include that in her gift, maybe she has found a copy of an old favorite book or turned something only you will understand into a necklace; no matter what she will do what she can to bring something you love to life.

• Your favorite flowers, if they aren’t in season she’s had them prepared months before this anniversary. Anything to show you just how much you mean to her.

Raoul

• He’s a fancy rich man, of course he has something planned that makes you feel like royalty.

• Over the top bouquets, expensive meals, a carriage drawn by pure white horses. He goes all out for his lover, everything needs to feel perfect.

• Of course, money can’t get you everything in life. It can however get you that item you’ve seen in shops and adored but don’t have the money for, Raoul is happy to get you this as long as it brings you joy.

• Unlike Christine I feel like he would shower you in gifts, among the pile you would end up with, yes; there would be meaningful and precious gifts but the rest are spoils from his wealth.

• He would try his best to empty his schedule and make all the time in the world for you, if your schedule is the problem he might try a little bribery of your employer to get your being out of work for the day.

• In the end it’s your relationship which is being celebrated, if this means minimal gifts and smaller amounts of time it matters not to him. Well, it matters a little bit. But as long as you remain happy and he feels like he can keep you safe then he will be content.

The Phantom, Erik

• So so freaked out let’s be honest, even making it to a year of being in a relationship has cause for some kind of celebration for him.

• Like Christine he wants to sing with you, even if you don’t sing (unlikely, considering who he is) he wants to show you something that he treasures. He wishes for your praise but is most likely not expecting it.

• The quantity of gifts depends on your preferences, he’s learned that he does tend to come on strong so he doesn’t want to scare you off. If you do like more material displays of affection then he is more than set, he can clearly sew beautifully so if you need new clothes or repairs on old ones he is more than capable. Not to mention the money he gets from the opera house, asking Madame Giry to retrieve the gifts for him so he can stay hidden.

• Writing, of course. Poetry, songs, simply melodies; he has it all, all for you. Music is where he can express himself and really ‘get in the zone’ without fear of judgement. That is until he’s done with the small performance, that’s when he will flush and the anxiety will set in. Praise him too hard too suddenly and he might just burst into tears.

• All in all nothing too extravagant will be happening, all he needs is your love to be happy. His proclamations of love will be given and all he can do is hope that you return them with a smile and kiss on his cheek.

[iersei]

- (UPDATED) BRIBERY MASTER LIST -

would you like to help a couple of dedicated freaks commit some ~ voter fraud ~ ? then go vote for Glenn Close over at @sexiestpodcastcharacter !!!

not only would you be helping an underdog win against one of the biggest presences in the podcast fandom sphere but also please consider it would be really really funny if we managed to get one sexy hot mess to the very top through grit and desperation and a pure fucking commitment to the bit.

if that's not enough for you: consider all the spoils that you could receive! there were so many additions to the prize pool in the past day, that i figured i'd make a separate post :D we want this so bad :D

< BY VOTING GLENN RIGHT NOW >

Art Requests from:

@itsbrucey

@llumimoon

@mikeystrawberry

@abeinginsand

@thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls

@iersei

@justablah56

@the-unworthy

@tiredwiredanduninspired

@kenny-the-blink

@h1tmanmode

@button-drop

@roman-cup

@taylortheanimerangerteen

@aliothbuzzsawshark

@ike-mcswains-mortician

@mispelled

@watermelon-inks

@b1gwings

@woahbrochilll

Animal Pictures from:

@kronoose

@giraffeskull

@idkanameatall

@the-unworthy

@herdreamywasteland

@gumireblogs

Writing Requests from:

@not-soup-333

@junietuesday

< IF GLENN WINS >

@itsbrucey promised an oil painting of Glenn that she'll send to Freddie Wong (the person who plays the character on the podcast!) and to document the process! and a whole additional animatic if we win by at least 1%! and c'mon that PAINTING would be so funny -

@babacontainsmultitudes will compile and release a compilation of all of Carlos' speaking lines (up until WTNV episode 230) and a compilation of EVERY time Jon says "Martin" in The Magnus Archives!

@punctuation-completionist offered punctuation themed requests for wallpaper designs, a punctuation tier list, a q&a, and more!

and in the spirit of rock and roll! @nick-close, @mj-thrush-gxn, and @tomatoe-copia will each release separate fansongs!

additional glenn drawings from @citruscore, @nesperus, @kenny-the-blink, @zil-street, @planetaryplut0, @taylortheanimerangerteen, @mj-thrush-gxn, and @radisyn! writing requests from @pandulce135! @ike-mcswains-mortician will make an animatic! @worlds-okayest-stepfather has offered to make a close family cake! and @locke-n-k3y has offered to make a sexy drawing of him for the twelve days of christmas!

@raemeh will even draw both of them if they tie!

in terms of pure passion and community effort. we've already won. but the title would be nice.

[SO GO SHARE THIS AROUND AND VOTE FOR GLENN CLOSE OVER AT THE FINAL ROUND !!!]

[sometimesanalice]

I was wondering if you have a headcanon for the restaurant they went to in "Like I Can" part 3?

I might have one or two! 😊 This was a fun ask to get! I hope you enjoy this!

I Find Myself Wanting

Summary: Bradley has a couple surprises planned for you and one very important question to ask.

Warnings: Pure fluff

Length: 2k

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw X Female Reader

Bradley didn’t like to play up the fact that he was an active member of the Navy. Sure he was proud of what he did, but he didn’t always like the attention that came with it.

He wasn’t one to stand up and wave at baseball games when they celebrated active service members and veterans. He never took advantage of the military discounts when they were offered in stores.

He would rather get noticed for who he was, not what he did.

However, he was not above showing up to your favorite trendy restaurant by the beach with his flight suit half unzipped in order to sweet talk his way into getting a reservation for your six-month anniversary.

The reservations had opened up when he was on a two week training deployment. To no one’s surprise service was shitty on a carrier in the middle of the ocean and he couldn’t get to a computer to snag a table in time.

He might have been flexing a bit and wearing his most winning smile as he yes ma’am-ed, no ma’am-ed, just doing my duty ma’am-ed his way into getting that same table on the luscious outdoor patio where the two of you had had your first date.

The one where he had showed up and surprised you. The one where he told you he didn’t want to be just friends anymore. The one where he’d all but given you his heart, and had been lucky enough to have received yours in return.

He had taken you back there a couple times since then, but he wanted to night to be special.

It was a struggle to sit there and wait. As he tried to not let his leg bounce too much under the table, not wanting to accidentally bump the table and send the finely etched stemware crashing to the ground.

He definitely didn’t want that kind of attention. Not when he was already so anxious to see you.

All he wanted was you.

And you were running late.

Bradley didn’t know why he was so nervous, he already knew what your response would be. Could already imagine the winning smile on your face, could envision the exact spots your dimples would appear in his mind’s eye.

He’d known that smile for years, he loved that smile.

The waiter had stopped by earlier to check on him, and he took the opportunity to order a bottle of champagne to surprise you with once you got there.

Wiping his hands on his pant legs, he touched his pocket for the third time since he’d been seated. Making sure that the item he had tucked in there hadn’t mysteriously vanished since the last time he had checked less than five minutes ago.

There was nothing more he liked than finding little ways to you keep you on your toes.

He’d made sure to grab a change of clothes for himself when he had left his place that morning. And then stayed on base to shower and get ready after they finished training for the day. He didn’t want to risk running into traffic and having you arrive before him.

Bradley wanted to be there to see you as you made your entrance onto the outdoor terrace. To see you as the warm glow from the sunset hit you. He loved seeing the subtle release of your shoulders and the soft sigh that always seemed to leave your body whenever you saw him waiting for you.

He didn’t tell you what he had planned, just that you shouldn’t work late that evening.

During the one hour lunch break they got, he had made his way to your apartment and let himself in using the key you had given him instead of staying and eating there with the rest of the team.

It made his chest warm when he had seen how many boxes that were already lined up along one of the walls in your living room.

You were finally moving in with him.

It had only taken a few months of pleading, some strategic bribery, and a payment plan on his part to finally get you to stop being so practical, so logical. Your lease still technically wasn't up for a couple more months, but he wanted you for himself all the time. And he was lucky enough that you felt the same way about him too.

You never even officially told him of your plans to move in with him. He had been going through his mail one day while you were uncorking some wine in the kitchen, when he saw a letter addressed to you with his home address underneath it.

He thought his eyes might have been playing tricks on him. But when he had held it out to you between two fingers and a questioning raise of his eyebrow, you’d simply given him a teasing smile and a shrug of the shoulder. The gesture was nothing short of ok you win, Bradley.

Damn right he did.

He offered to order a U-Haul right then and there. Although you never got a chance to take him up on it because he had tossed you over his shoulder to celebrate properly in that dark wood canopy bed. The wine completely forgotten on the kitchen counter.

The two of you hardly spent a night apart, but this was the kind of official and permanent he had been longing for since you’d first kissed him against the Bronco all those months ago.

He didn’t let himself get too side tracked as he'd made his way to your mostly packed up bedroom, since he was there on a mission. He was pleased when he didn’t have to search too hard to find what he wanted in your closet. He had laid the garment on top of your bed and topped it with a note for where and when to meet him that night.

You hadn’t worn it since the first time you’d been there, and he wanted to see you in his favorite color again.

However, he couldn’t help himself and ended up grabbing a couple boxes on his way out to put in the Bronco to be unloaded at his place later. He was eager to do whatever it took to speed up the process, he wanted to see your place empty, wanted all your things to be nestled amongst his own.

Bradley knew you were it for him. And he knew you felt the same way too, even if you still were still being infuriatingly pragmatic at times. He saw it in your eyes when you looked at him, he recognized it because it’s the same way he looked at you.

He was about to check his phone to see if you had sent him a message, even though he had turned the ringer of his phone on so that he’d hear of his phone went off, when he felt your presence right before he saw you step out onto the terracotta tile of the oasis that was the restaurant’s outdoor patio.

And it’s like all the air has left his lungs.

You were a vision in emerald green as you made your way to him.

He wanted to feel your curves under the silky floral material. Wanted to unzip you slowly later that evening, to watch as your skin is revealed to him as that pretty dress slides down your body. To lay you out on that bed he bought specifically for you. To show you with his body just how much you meant to him, just how much he loved you.

He loved your pretty hair and how you styled it, just a little different from how he usually saw it. Like you tried something new, just for this date. Just for him. He couldn’t wait to brush aside the little tendrils that had escaped and were framing your face so sweetly. The soft make up you had done for the night really played up your beautiful eyes.

You were stunning. And you were his.

Almost in a daze he stands up and meets you half way to the table. Standing this close to you he can smell your perfume. Can see the little flecks in your eyes.

“Hi, Bradley,” you say with a gentle smile, almost bashfully. But clearly pleased with the effect you’re having on him.

God, he loves you so much.

He gives into the urge to brush away one of those tendrils brushing your cheek, and pulls your face to his.

Your mouth is soft under his. Mindful of your lipstick and the other people seated on the patio, he doesn’t let himself get too carried away as he kisses you in greeting.

“Hi, sweet girl,” he says as he pulls away, having to clearly is throat a bit before continuing, “You look beautiful.” He raises your left hand to his mouth to kiss it.

“Well, someone did pick out a such a nice dress for me to wear,” you tell him as you smooth a hand down his chest, “You look very handsome yourself, I’m a very lucky girl.”

Placing a hand low on your back, finally getting a feel of your warmth and that silky fabric under his palm, he guides you to your perfectly curated table. Pulling out the chair for you to ease yourself into.

He thinks he might have gotten away with the way he checked out your exposed thigh as you sat down, but the knowing smile on your face he sees as he sits across for you tells him that he wasn’t as subtle as he thought he was.

Especially when your foot reaches out to stroke his calf under the table.

“Happy six month anniversary, sweet girl."

Sure, it felt a bit young to be celebrating this kind of milestone. But he has been so incredibly happy with you that he’d enthusiastically find any excuse to celebrate being yours.

He's already learned that Veuve tasted better on a random Tuesday evening with you on his couch than it ever had with anyone else.

The warm grin you give him makes his heart beat a bit faster in his chest. With you in front of him now, gazing at him with such adoration, he has no clue what he was so nervous about.

“Happy six month anniversary, Bradley,” you respond indulgently, still stroking his leg with your foot, “I have to say, this is a very lovely surprise.”

“Yeah?” he asks, feeling very proud of himself.

“Oh yes,” your voice already tinged with a teasing tone, “I can’t say I’ve ever had a boyfriend who has shown up in a flight suit to woo their way into a reservation before.”

“I, uh-" he starts feeling suddenly sheepish, bringing a hand up to rub at the back of his neck.

“The hostess was rather chatty when I arrived. I would have gotten to you sooner, but I was held up at the front as she told me how sweet my American hero boyfriend was when he showed up,” you tell him with a fond smile, reaching across the table for his hand. “And now I feel less guilty about the low cut shirt I wore to score you the Padres-Phillies tickets that I currently have in my purse.”

Still such a little hustler.

The two of you exchanged a look for a moment before breaking out in a fit of laughter. Reminded yet again just how similar the two of you were.

“God, I love you.”

“I love you too, Bradley. Thank you for such a perfect surprise.”

He would never get tired of hearing you say that.

You were moving in with him. You were going to wake up with him everyday. He was going to get to hold you every night as fell asleep. He was going to build a life with you.

He wanted you like this forever. He wanted you forever.

“I’ve got a question for you.”

“Lay it on me.”

Reaching into his pocket he grabs the item he had tucked away in there, sliding it across the table.

He watches as you pick it up, reading the information on the plane tickets he had purchased, watches as you take it in and look up at him eyes wide with disbelief and delight.

“What do you say, kid, want to go home?”

He knew you hadn’t been home since the holidays. Although he couldn’t remember the last time he had gone back. It had stopped feeling like home, rather just the place he had been raised. But now with you, home was wherever you were.

“Yes, Bradley,” you beamed, your dimples appearing just where he expected them to, “Let’s go home.”

Leaning forward he picks up your hand to kiss the back of it, before threading his fingers through yours. As he sees the waiter rounding the corner with the champagne that he had ordered earlier chilling in a bronze bucket.

The tickets were for two months from now. He had orders to ship out soon for a one month deployment, and you had a big project at work that was wrapping up around the time he got back. He had wanted to plan something that both of you could look forward to while you were apart.

Bradley was excited to revisit all the places that had helped form the two of you. He knew where you were going, but he wanted to go back to the place where you had started.

You were telling him about your day, as the waiter worked on uncorking the champagne. And he was trying very hard to pay attention, but his mind was buzzing with everything to come as he let his thumb smooth over the back of your left hand.

He was going home with you.

He wanted to visit the high school you both went to. He wanted to take you to that slightly questionable amusement park and ride the Tilt-A-Whirl with you. He wanted to buy you an ice cream at the shop where he had his first job, where he spent his first paycheck getting you the pair of rollerblades you had wanted for your birthday.

If he was lucky, he might even be able to sneak into your bedroom. He’d be your teenaged dream turned reality.

Bradley already had plans to play golf with your dad. And he had booked spa appointments for you and your mom. He was really excited to see her again in person, she had always made sure he’d felt welcomed in your family.

The timing of it couldn’t have been better. After all, he had a very important question he needed to ask their permission for.

He was looking forward to it, he wanted it all.

I wonder what question he has to ask her parents... 🥰

Here are some aesthetics and headcanons for their favorite restaurant!

This was a drabble for my 'Like I Can' series, you can read it here!

Taglist:

@gretagerwigsmuse @sehnsuchts-trunken @notroosterbradshaw @laracrofted @bradshawsbitch @starryeyedstories @top-hhun-main @itscheybaby @prettylittlelauraa @startrekfangirl2233 @marantha @callsign-viper @teacupsandtopgun @itsizzythebell @shanimallina87 @angelbabyange @boltgirl426 @oneelleandaneye @mizzzpink @cornishkat @torres-espana @uzumegui @dont-talk-me-down @fandomunite2107 @alana4610 @20th-centu-fairy-girl @pariahsparadise @pono-pura-vida @donttouchmycarrots @nina-sj @eg-dr3amer3 @whaledots-blog @a-beaverhausen @misty-inferno @angellwingsss @hangmanscoming @mandolin22 @theweekndhistorybook @lilpeekabooze @high-bi-imgonnacry @ahintofkiwistrawberry @mrsdaamneron @ruewrote @spiderman-stilinski @jayniebop @melllinaa @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @mandolin22 @imaginecrushes @soleilgrec @keyrani @chicomonks 

[radiance1]

Thinking about my Eastern dragon Danny and Phoenix Vlad au, and its making me think about how they would and do classify as meta BUT.

It would be far too funny if it were in the form of rumors.

Like, some say that they saw the reclusive CEO of Vladco having wings, some point out that the area around him is warmer, some point out that he has a feather on his suit that wasn't previously there or something.

Then bring in his nephew and it's like they swear they can see him blowing mist out of his mouth at random points, others that they swore they saw scales, maybe even saw him with a tail at some point and that it's pretty cold around him.

Either or, I'm not the best at creating rumors.

Anyways, so eventually there's this mystery surrounding the two, even more because Vlad Masters was known to be a recluse, and now there's a possibility of the two being metas?

Of course, that just draws the reporters to flock towards them for the potential scoop. A few articles are already there, speculating what sort of meta they could be and why they're hiding it.

(Oh right, Danny ain't Ghost King or Prince here, and Vlad ain't the Duke he's just a bir- I mean a Phoenix.)

Danny? Well, Danny keeps trying to get Vlad to slip the hell up because he's a little shit like that, and Vlad is flapping between+ amused and about to burn a bitch, depending on what Danny's does to be honest.

Of course, both are aware of said rumors, don't care for them, but decide to make it a game to see which of the two slips up first.

How does he even get Danny to these events in the first place?

Pure bribery.

Anything ranging from gaming consoles to money, to food, to an actual house (Which Danny said as a joke but Vlad said bet) with a pool.

The power of bribery is a powerful thing, and is one of Vlad's more favored tools.

Anyways, Lois Lane wants a scoop, and what better way to get one than to approach the reclusive Vlad Masters to ask a few questions?

[autisticrosewilson]

Okay okay, but what if- Talia is the doctor that Catherine goes to when she starts getting sick. Maybe Jason is interning at the same hospital Talia works at (she moved to Gotham for Bruce but they're...not working out) when it starts getting bad and so he brings Cathy to the best doctor he knows. Technically, Talia is supposed to do any of these procedures for free. In fact she could get very fired for it, but she's the best damn doctor in Gotham and her work son needs help. So she agrees, and it's a very good thing because without intensive treatment Catherine would certainly suffer until the gruesome end.

Well, they go through with the treatment, and somehow manage to hide it all from the higher ups (likely with bribery), and Talia starts getting to know her patient. Catherine is...a lot. She's sharp and clever and sweet. She used to bring coffee and pastries to share for lunch before she was confined to her bed. She likes braiding Talia's hair since her own is too brittle to touch these days. Sometimes she asks Talia to do her makeup, to make her look a little more alive than she feels.

Talia thinks they both know that the treatment isn't going to work for long, at most Talia can keep her on enough painkillers for it to be painless but time is running out. The most Catherine can hope for is making it to Jason's graduation. Sweet, worried Jason who visits Catherine as often as he can, diligently doing his homework at her bedside as if he can rush his graduation anymore than he already has. Maybe he knows that she doesn't have much longer too. Catherine hopes so, because she can't bear being the one to tell him. Talia thinks it might ruin her as much as Jason if she has to tell him their Cathy has a scant few months left.

Ra's doesn't mind sharing for a good cause, the pit is constantly regenerating itself after all, it's not like he's really losing anything. But Gotham isn't exactly known for birthing people who are pure of heart, he fears what a corrupted soul might do to the pit. He demands to meet the woman Talia is so insistent on saving. He knows better than most that his daughter's heart can be soft, often for people who don't deserve it. It's that same love that stole her away to the cursed land to begin with.

And Jason insists on coming with, naturally. So for the first time in months Catherine is out of bed to go on what might be her last trip if this experimental, vague cure doesn't work. Her last trip as her if it doesn't work as intended. She's nervous, and not just because she's never been on a private jet before. She agrees that Jason can come but she refuses to let him in the room. She doesn't like the sickly green glow beyond the door and she won't risk him getting radiation poisoning,nor worse.

Ra's as it turns out, is far more interested in Jason than Catherine when they get there, which Talia is hardly surprised by. Damian is still a baby, just beginning to toddle around and while he just adores his grandfather, babies aren't the best company. The fact that Jason is a humanities buff and a child prodigy certainly helps. Talia hardly has to convince him of anything, he's ushering them into the basement before the week-long trip has even reached the third day.

He insists he be the one to conduct the procedure, however. Jason and Talia are left to sit on the stairs at the end of the hall as Ra's wheels Catherine into Lazarus room.

Talia has to put her full weight into holding him when Catherine starts screaming.

[y-rhywbeth2]

The most important thing I've learnt recently is that I'm now pretty sure that Bane canonically thinks pissing Bhaal off is funny, is 100% willing to seduce his own followers (I mean, he does canonically have at least one child with one), as well as use flirting (with a side of threats and bribery) to sway people to convert to his faith.

Which means that I believe he would be willing to seduce (or at least flirt with) the Dark Urge, Kelemvor style, purely because it would piss Bhaal off and also piss Myrkul off because he's the one who has to mediate whenever Bane starts pulling this shit.

I only wonder whether he would do it via dream, manifest an avatar (which considering Bane's favouring of demonic looking avatars when he's not possessing people, kinda counts as monsterfucking?) or if he uses Gortash as an avatar to do it (or possess one of his other Banites as a "fuck you" to Gortash if his Chosen has displeased him recently, maybe? Watch your god make out with your not-partner Enver: that's what you get for developing "feelings". Or maybe he'd be into that idk)

If it works, on any level, then Durge is probably going to be incapacitated by religious guilt for the remainder of forever.